MY MAN GODFREY (1936)

I’ve seen a number of the classic Hollywood movies of the 1930’s.But going over some of the titles in 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die book, I noticed more than a few omissions from my movie viewing resume. For two weeks I’m going to try to fill in some of those gaps as well as re-watch some old favorites. I’ll list my expectations for each film going in and state whether these expectations are reached or not. And I’ll give each film my Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award strictly for the reason that I think it would be fun to do so.

My Man Godfrey (1936)
Expectations: Ah, nostalgia. I saw this during the first film class I was in during my Freshman year at West Georgia College. Good ole Mrs. Alexander. I remember enjoying this film all those years ago, but for some reason, I think I won’t like it as much this go round. Sorry, Mrs. A.

After viewing: I was wrong. I liked it even more this time. It is fun, witty, well paced, well acted and socially relevant. Carole Lombard and William Powell were both perfect in the leads. It officially regains its crown as my favorite screwball comedy. Shouldn’t have doubted you Mrs. A.

DVD note: On most DVD's, I'll usually skip anything labeled blooper reel. But a blooper reel from a 1936 film with Carole Lombard saying, "Ah, Shit!" is definitely worth checking out.

And the Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award goes to…Eugene Pallette as the put upon father of a screwy rich family The gravelly-voiced Mr. Pallette is quite funny, but you can’t help but feel sorry for the the ‘poor’ chap.

EASY LIVING (1937)

I’ve seen a number of the classic Hollywood movies of the 1930’s.But going over some of the titles in 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die book, I noticed more than a few omissions from my movie viewing resume. For two weeks I’m going to try to fill in some of those gaps as well as re-watch some old favorites. I’ll list my expectations for each film going in and state whether these expectations are reached or not. And I’ll give each film my Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award strictly for the reason that I think it would be fun to do so.

Easy Living (1937)
Expectations: I saw it on the library shelf and was directed by Preston Sturges and it was in the 1001 movie book. I usually enjoy 30’s screwball comedies, so I figured I would like it.

After viewing: Correction: This was only written, not directed by Preston Sturges. This also isn’t in the 1001 movie book! I wanted to look up something up about this movie in the 1001 book as I was watching it, but it wasn’t there! (Audible gasp!) I must have been thinking about The Lady Eve! Anyway, I’m glad I made the mistake. This movie is a lot of fun. There is a scene in a food automat (I think it's just cool to see an automatic diner) that is truly a slapstick tour de force. Lots of gags, misunderstandings, etc. Edward Arnold is well cast as the Wall Street banker. Jean Arthur is the cat’s meow in the lead.

And the Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award goes to…Always some good choices in a screwball comedy, but let’s give it to Franklin Pangborn, always insufferable, snobby, prissy and gossipy (But not gay, the motion picture code of the era forbid the existence of homosexuals). His exasperated expression when something goes wrong or when there is something he thinks is a juicy tidbit is always hilarious.

DODSWORTH (1936)

I’ve seen a number of the classic Hollywood movies of the 1930’s.But going over some of the titles in 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die book, I noticed more than a few omissions from my movie viewing resume. For two weeks I’m going to try to fill in some of those gaps as well as re-watch some old favorites. I’ll list my expectations for each film going in and state whether these expectations are reached or not. And I’ll give each film my Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award strictly for the reason that I think it would be fun to do so.

Dodsworth (1936)
Expectations: I’ve read a couple of Sinclair Lewis novels, Arrowsmith being the one in recent memory. I knew this film was based on a Lewis novel. My expectation was for a good story, though I didn’t know what the plot was about.

After viewing: When you think of some of the great film stars of the 30’s studio era, the first names that come to mind are probably not Walter Huston and Ruth Chatterton. Huston plays Dodsworth, the retired automaker, trying to see what life has in store for him in middle age. Chatterton plays his wife Fran, who is fighting against the aging process every step of the way. Both of these performers are quite good, but Huston especially struck a chord with me. Lewis’s story was strong and well adapted by Sidney Howard. Of course, I’m just going to have to make that leap considering I haven’t read the novel. I’ll just go by the end product and rate the adaptation a success.

And the Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award goes to…screenwriter Sidney Howard. Most fans of classic movies can identify Margaret Mitchell as the author of Gone With the Wind. But who wrote the screenplay for the most widely viewed film of all-time? I’m willing to bet a majority of film fans couldn’t come up with the name Sidney Howard (At least I couldn’t). To paraphrase William Goldman’s sentiment on screenwriters, “Don’t’ mind him, he only wrote the damn thing!” Well, Howard adapted the Dodsworth screenplay too, and did a damn good job!

GUNGA DIN (1939)

I’ve seen a number of the classic Hollywood movies of the 1930’s.But going over some of the titles in 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die book, I noticed more than a few omissions from my movie viewing resume. For two weeks I’m going to try to fill in some of those gaps as well as re-watch some old favorites. I’ll list my expectations for each film going in and state whether these expectations are reached or not. And I’ll give each film my Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award strictly for the reason that I think it would be fun to do so.

Expectations:I saw it years ago and mostly remember the courageous bhisti bugle boy Gunga Din played by Sam Jaffe.

After viewing: Is it even apporpriate to like this movie in this day and age? Hold on a minute while I check my political correctness study guides.

Well, one of my PC books says that it is a yet another story of self-righteous Western imperialists that feel their way is the right way and that the only brown man worth living is one that wants to follow in the footsteps of those that adhere to the values of her majesty, as Mr. Din wishes to do. My other PC book says to just enjoy the rollicking adventure, great stars, the funny non-action scenes (Director George Stevens learned a few things about comedy when he mentored under Hal Roach), and of course the dramatic final scene. It may take awhile for me to determine which book is correct.

And the Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award goes to…Sam Jaffe as the courageous bhisti bugle boy, who else?

CAPTAINS COURAGEOUS (1938)

I’ve seen a number of the classic Hollywood movies of the 1930’s.But going over some of the titles in 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die book, I noticed more than a few omissions from my movie viewing resume. For two weeks I’m going to try to fill in some of those gaps as well as re-watch some old favorites. I’ll list my expectations for each film going in and state whether these expectations are reached or not. And I’ll give each film my Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award strictly for the reason that I think it would be fun to do so.

Captains Courageous (1938)
Expectations: I knew Spencer Tracy won an Oscar for this as the Portuguese fisherman and it was based on a Rudyard Kipling story.

After Viewing: A sometimes corny, sometimes inspiring story of a spoiled rich kid who grows up after being lost at sea and rides around with a fishing vessel for several weeks. It’s interesting that the boy, played by Freddie Bartholomew, has a lot more screen time than Tracy, the Oscar-winning star. I thought Tracy came close to losing his Portuguese accent whenever he got mad (but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, it’s Spencer Tracy, perhaps the most revered American screen actor of the twentieth century, after all!) I liked the movie overall, though the plot is not exactly chock full of surprises. And another thing class-if you want a movie with literary examples of foreshadowing, this movie might be a good place to start.

And the Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award goes to…Lionel Barrymore. Some good candidates here, including the always interesting John Carradine and the Wizard of Oz’sUncle Henry, Charlie Grapwine. Lionel Barrymore may be known chiefly to modern audiences as the evil Mr. Potter from It’s a Wonderful Life, but here he plays a the wily, but sympathetic ship’s captain. I just saw him in Camille as Robert Taylor’s father, and I’m sure he’ll pop up again on my DVD player soon.

NINOTCHKA (1939)

I’ve seen a number of the classic Hollywood movies of the 1930’s.But going over some of the titles in 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die book, I noticed more than a few omissions from my movie viewing resume. For two weeks I’m going to try to fill in some of those gaps as well as re-watch some old favorites. I’ll list my expectations for each film going in and state whether these expectations are reached or not. And I’ll give each film my Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award strictly for the reason that I think it would be fun to do so.

Ninotchka (1939)
Expectations: I just know that Garbo laughs.

After viewing: After seeing the more serious filmCamille, I had no idea Garbo could be so funny! (And I'm guessing her Ninotchka character was the later inspiration for the character of Natasha in Rocky & Bullwinkle). Also, after a recent viewing of Captains Courageous, I had no idea that Melvyn Douglas could be so funny, either! The screenplay for Ninotchka is truly witty (especially the first half). A cold war romance before the Cold War even began. Overall, a very pleasant surprise.

And the Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award goes to…(a six way-tie)Actually two trios. First, the great supporting Russian representatives in Paris, who begin to like certain aspects of capitalism more than they should. They are played with great charm and humor by Sig Rumann, Felix Bressart and Alexander Granach. During their scenes with Garbo, they are kind of like the Four Marx Brothers. (With Garbo being a much sexier version of Zeppo if you want to take the comparison further than it needs to go).

The other trio is screenwriters Billy Wilder, Charles Brackett and Walter Reisch, whose sharp screenplay and political quips seemed years ahead of its time.
Supporting player oddity: The fourth billed Bela Lugosi (billed ahead of Rumann, Bressart and Granach) has only one scene that lasts about two minutes, and he really isn’t that memorable in it.* I guess that’s show biz.

*For a more memorable Lugosi supporting performance, see him as Ygor in Son of Frankenstein.

CAMILLE (1933)

I’ve seen a number of the classic Hollywood movies of the 1930’s.But going over some of the titles in 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die book, I noticed more than a few omissions from my movie viewing resume. For two weeks I’m going to try to fill in some of those gaps as well as re-watch some old favorites. I’ll list my expectations for each film going in and state whether these expectations are reached or not. And I’ll give each film my Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award strictly for the reason that I think it would be fun to do so.

Camille (1936)
Expectations: I knew this was a Greta Garbo picture. Considering, her iconic status, I was looking forward to seeing this for her.

After viewing: I know it was based on a Alexandre Dumas nils play, so it does have a somewhat literary lineage. But my honest opinion while I was viewing is that this was a romance novel come to life: A courtesan in 1847 gay-paree. A young suitor falls in love with her. She won’t go with him because of his lack of money. The man’s father tries to talk her out of marrying him because it would ruin his future. She is in love with him now and is torn. A rich baron wants to marry her and take her to Russia. Of course she doesn’t love the baron, but there are those creditors, you know. Oh yeah, and it’s clear very early on that her ongoing illness is not going to allow her to live a long life anyway.

And Garbo? The only previous movie I’ve seen with Garbo was Grand Hotel, which was an all-star cast extravaganza if memory serves. Camille is purely Garbo’s vehicle. She is certainly glamorous and exotic and if seeing Ms. Garbo in various costumes is your thing, welcome to Camille. It took me a while to get used to her accent, but I did and can see why she’s such revered figure. Of course, part of this status was because she quit the movies while still in her prime (She never made unfortunate comeback pictures like Mae West, see She Done Him Wrong entry from 5/22) and became a famous recluse. Her suitor, Robert Taylor, seems the perfect romance novel lover, but you never forget the star of this movie has the initials G. G.

And the Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award goes to…Laura Hope Crews. Most famous for being Pittypat in Gone With the Wind. A film like Camille, with such earnest lovers needs some comic relief, and Crews as Prudence is always the one with the cutting line or made to appear foolish herself or says the wrong thing. My favorite line of hers is when she tries to convince some of her dinner guests that she’s 36. (It’s how she says it. Trust me it’s funny)

CAPTAIN BLOOD (1935)

I’ve seen a number of the classic Hollywood movies of the 1930’s.But going over some of the titles in 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die book, I noticed more than a few omissions from my movie viewing resume. For two weeks I’m going to try to fill in some of those gaps as well as re-watch some old favorites. I’ll list my expectations for each film going in and state whether these expectations are reached or not. And I’ll give each film my Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award strictly for the reason that I think it would be fun to do so.

Captain Blood (1935)
Expectations: I knew it was a famous Errol Flynn swashbuckler.* I knew it was based on the the popular Rafael Sabatini novel of the same name. It has even been made into a graphic novel in recent years! I also thought I would like it more than Pirates of the Caribbean and less than Master and Commander.

After viewing: I learned a lot about this film from the DVD extras. Flynn and co-star Olivia De Havilland were both relatively unknown when cast in this film. It’s interesting when this film was a hit, how Warner Brother’s seemed to use the same cast (Flynn, De Havilland, Rathbone & Hale) and same director (Michael Curtiz) for many future films. My overall take: I liked it more than Pirates of the Caribbean and less than Master and Commander, so my expectations were met. And I’d like to add this phrase, “All right me hearties, follow me!” (You’ll have to excuse me, I just felt like typing that.)

And the Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award goes to…I’ve got to give it to Basil Rathbone this time. Two films in a row I’ve watched Rathbone battle the suave Mr. Flynn to the death with the result being…well, you probably can guess the outcome. At least Sherlock Holmes was going to give Rathbone some leading man roles in the near future.

*I really didn’t want to use the word swashbuckler because it’s always used to talk about these kind of pictures, but it really does seem to fit.

THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD (1938)

I’ve seen a number of the classic Hollywood movies of the 1930’s.But going over some of the titles in 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die book, I noticed more than a few omissions from my movie viewing resume. For two weeks I’m going to try to fill in some of those gaps as well as re-watch some old favorites. I’ll list my expectations for each film going in and state whether these expectations are reached or not. And I’ll give each film my Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award strictly for the reason that I think it would be fun to do so.

The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)
Expectations: I honestly don’t remember if I ever saw this film before, but if I did I was probably about 10. Yes, it was back in the day when local television stations showed quality old movies instead of endless reruns of Full House or just showed that Goldie Hawn movie Overboard over and over and over. Ahem.
Anyway, I was hoping to enjoy this early color adventure.

After Viewing: I wasn’t disappointed. I enjoyed it much more than the later version of Robin Hood with Kevin Costner. The Adventures of Robin Hood has everything you might want in an action film from that era, though Robin being able to evade death from multiple adversaries does stretch the ole suspension of disbelief a little. But hey, it’s not supposed to be The Killing Fields! He’s escaping the Sheriff of Nottingham, not the Khymer Rogue! I’m also guessing not many actors could have gotten away with wearing Robin Hood’s green or should I say BRIGHT green outfit, blazing across the screen in techincolor without looking silly. But Errol Flynn manages to do it quite nicely.

And the Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award goes to…Alan Hale. There’s a slew of candidates here: the opportunistic scene stealing villain Claude Rains, the suave, but villainous Basil Rathbone, or maybe you prefer an oafish villain like Melville Cooper's Sheriff of Nottingham. How about the always reliable Eugene Pallette as Friar Tuck? No, I’m giving it to Little John, Alan Hale. Why? Because of his over 200 screen credits from the teens to 1950, always lending able support to the star, often times Errol Flynn? That’s a good reason, but no. I’m giving it to Alan because if you ever see Alan on a movie on your TV, even a film buff can’t help himself but to shout out, “Hey, it’s the Skipper from Gilligan’s Island’s dad!” I think he deserves a little better than that.

SHE DONE HIM WRONG (1933)

I’ve seen a number of the classic Hollywood movies of the 1930’s. But going over some of the titles in 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die book, I noticed more than a few omissions from my movie viewing resume. For two weeks, I’m going to try to fill in some of those gaps as well as re-watch some old favorites. I’ll list my expectations for each film going in and state whether these expectations are reached or not. And I’ll give each film my Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award strictly for the reason that I think it would be fun to do so.

She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Expectations: Many years ago, I went to a double feature that included Mae West’s final film Sextette. Most film fans, even if they haven’t seen a Mae West movie, know what Mae West sounds like and that most of her lines are full of double entendre. Sextette was filmed when Ms. West was well into her eighties and I'm afraid the double entendres just weren’t what they once were. I remember the scene where she is on her honeymoon with a pre-James Bond Timothy Dalton and she says something to the effect of “I can’t wait to say the British are coming, the British are coming.” I can still remember the audience groaning. The second half of this double feature was Myra Breckinridge, properly regarded as one of the worst films of all-time. West was only in her late seventies during this one. Mae says to a tall young man- “Your’e a tall one!” He replies, “Yes, I’m six feet, seven inches.” Mae says something to the effect of “Oh, its not the six feet I’m interested in, it’s the seven inches.” I remember the audience groaning for that one too. Looking forward to checking out one of her films where she is at least somewhere in the vicinity of her prime.

After viewing: The plot of She Done Him Wrong has something to do with a guy getting sent up the river, but he was framed see! He’s got to get out to see his girl (Mae West). She’s two timing him of course and this Russian is interested in her too and the saloon owner is trying to keep the law off his back and they’re watching for an undercover copper called the Hawk and…never mind-the plot really isn’t important here. This is a Mae West vehicle and is really just an excuse for her to change costumes, flirt with every breathing male and give us some one-liners as only she can:

Lady: Ah, lady Lou. You’re a fine gal, a fine woman.
Mae: One of the finest women ever walked the streets.

Suitor: I’ve heard so much about you
Mae: Yeah, but you can’t prove it.

Mae: I wasn’t always rich. There were times I didn’t know where my next husband was coming from.

Mae: Why don’t you come us some time, see me.

And the Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award goes to…Cary Grant. Silver screen icon Cary Grant in a supporting role? Well let’s face it, in a Mae West picture, everyone else in it is strictly a second banana (Insert Mae West one-liner here). And, it is one of Grant’s earliest roles and he is frankly kind of stiff (Insert Mae West one-liner here, too).

LOVE ME TONIGHT (1932)

I’ve seen a number of the classic Hollywood movies of the 1930’s. But going over some of the titles in 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die book, I noticed more than a few omissions from my movie viewing resume. For the next fourteen days, I’m going to try to fill in some of those gaps as well as re-watch some old favorites. I’ll list my expectations for each film going in and state whether these expectations are reached or not. And I’ll give each film my Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award strictly for the reason that I think it would be fun to do so.

Love Me Tonight (1932)
Expectations: Full disclosure: I had never heard of this film before. Reading a brief synopsis, I see it is a Paramount musical starring Maurice Chevalier and Jeanette McDonald. I have a theory that France’s embrace of Jerry Lewis is some sort of revenge for America’s embrace of the (let’s be honest) obnoxious Frenchman Chevalier. Of course, that’s just a theory and have no hard evidence. And when I think of Jeanette McDonald, I think of that old clip of her and Nelson Eddy campily singing, “When I’m Calling You Woo Woo Woo!” This doesn’t sound too promising, but I’ll go into my viewing with an open mind.

After viewing: I admit this innovative early musical quickly grew on me. It was one of the first movies to use music (at least successfully) as part of the narrative. A lot of creative touches from director Rouben Mamoulian including his very innovative use of the Rodgers and Hart standard “Isn’t It Romantic.” I came around to liking Ms. McDonald just about the time she took her dress off for the doctor to examine her (Hey, I’m easy.) I even began to like Maurice after awhile! Live and learn.

On the audio commentary track, film scholar Miles Krueger refers to Love Me Tonight as “the finest musical film of all times.” Not sure I would go quite that far, but certainly worth seeing.

And the Elisha Cook Jr. supporting player award goes to…Lots of candidates here including feisty old C. Aubrey Smith, adorable ingénue Myrna Loy and the oddball Count played by Charles Butterworth. But I’ll go with the always amusing(even when he’s a bit of a scoundrel) Charlie Ruggles.

SERPICO (1973)

In case you didn’t know, Serpico stars Al Pacino as an honest New York City cop who is unwilling to take bribes and be part of the corruption rampant on the police force.

As a boy growing up in the 70’s, there was one literary source above all others that most influenced my cultural, political and even at times, spiritual growth. I am talking, of course, about MAD magazine. Each issue featured those those silly, but funny Don Martin cartoons, Dave Berg’s Lighter Side, Al Jaffe’s Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions, the drawings of Serigo Aragones scattered all around the pages, and those crazy mad fold-ins where a picture of one thing magically turns into something else!

And of course there were those Nixon jokes! Oh, the Nixon jokes! These jokes would usually entail something along the line of Richard Nixon as a boy dressed as George Washington with a chopped down cherry tree in front of him and an ax hidden behind his back, with the caption reading, “I cannot tell a lie, I DIDN'T DO IT!” I think if someone were to look through all the issues of MAD’s 1972-1974 heyday* and counted up all the Nixon/Watergate/White House tapes stories, well I’ll save that research for someone else, but I know it would be a hell of a lot.

But the highlight of most of the issues from this time for me was the television or movie satires. Your movie couldn't be qualified a success in my eyes until MAD did a satire of it (There were exceptions to this success barometer, as MAD did a satire of the 70’s musical megaflop Lost Horizon).

The movie satire was usually seven pages long and unlike MAD’s cheaper imitators Cracked and Sick, MAD’s writers actually seemed to have not only seen the movies but were satirizing particular scenes! Hats off to writers like Stan Hart. And of course, the artwork by Mort Drucker is nothing short of legendary (I realize that’s overstating it a bit, but bear with me).

All right. Let’s see if I can find an old copy of a MAD magazine. Well, what do you know. I found one! September 1974, (Issue 169. 40 cents. Cheap!)
“Special Cop Out issue,” it reads, “Serpicool and McClod.” Ah, yes. I knew I was writing this after seeing Serpico for a reason. I’ll leave the ruminations about the McCloud satire for another day.

Of course, all the movies satirized in MAD had those ridiculous names: The Godfather was the Odd Father. Billy Jack was Billy Jock (I was sure they were going to call him Billy Jerk). The Poseidon Adventure was The Poopsidedown Adventure, Papillion was Popicorn, The Exorcist was The Ecchorcist (and came equipped with its own barf bag!), A Clockwork Orange was A Crockwork Lemon, The Way We Were was The Way We Bore and Serpico was Serpicool.

Here are some Serpicool jokes from the panels of MAD:

At Serpicool’s Police Academy Graduation, the photographer is taking a group picture of Serpicool’s family.
Photographer: Okay, everybody move in close for a family picture. Make room for our man in uniform.
As he reveals the picture…
Photographer: Hey; I didn’t mean THIS kind of FAMILY picture! (The picture revealed is not of Serpicool’s family, but of Micheal Corleone and the Corleone crime family! You see, MAD knew her sophisticated young readers would understand The Godfather reference!)

As Serpicool is tackling a fleeing black youth.
Cop 1: I really can’t believe this!
Serpicool: Why? Because I’m a dedicated, honest cop?
Cop 1: No. Because you’re such a lard-tailed bandy-legged shrimp and you just outran a kid built like O. J. SIMPSON! (Topical reference to popular athlete of the day)

Serpicool talking to a cop ally…
Serpicool: Everytime I make a phone call to the department, I make a tape of the conversation! Listen to this one (He plays the tape)
Cop 2: I don’t hear ANYTHING. There’s nothing ON the tape.
Serpicool: Oh, this must be the time I called The White House by mistake! (Watergate joke number two-hundred and thirty-seven of 1974)

Serpicools final frame after he gets hit by a speeding car…
Serpicool: Hey, why’d you do that?
Dirty Harry: Because you tried to give the cops a bad name. And that’s DIRTY HARRY’S job! (Final frame would often have “zinger” delivered by someone from different movie.)

MAD inspired me to start my own magazine in 1974. That maybe overstating it a bit. I just did a few issues on notebook paper and the run lasted for only nine issues.Let’s see if I can find any of them. Well, here’s one! Jeez, Do I throw anything away? Anyway here’s my 1st issue. It was called IDIOT magazine and featured a character named Elwood, sort of like, MAD’s Alfred E. Newman.. Let’s see what my first movie satire is. What a coincidence! It’s of Serpico! Except mine is called JERKICO!**

Give me a moment to read it…All right, I’m not even sure what I’m trying to say here, really. The plot has Officer Stank Jerkico getting fired from the police force. He tries to shoot his boss, but only has a water pistol, so he doesn’t kill him, you see. Then, out of a job, he meets Peter Pan on the street who tries to give him some peanut butter. He tries to shoot him with a water gun as a joke, but the gun is loaded and Peter Pan dies! Jerkico ends up in prison in the last frame. OK, I don’t really get it. Maybe I was just trying to say life is full of bad breaks, but when things appear to be as awful as it can get, something even worse can happen. Yeah, let’s just go with that.

* MAD’s official heyday was 1974. I accept no views to the contrary.
**I admit to occasionally calling people Jerkico’s to this day, usually when I’m in traffic.

THE SILENCE (1963, SWEDEN), CRIES AND WHISPERS (1972, SWEDEN), FANNY AND ALEXANDER (1982, SWEDEN)

The 1001 blogger has decided to watch as many films as he can from one of his favorite filmmakers, Ingmar Bergman. He knows despite the potential positive aspects of such an adventure, the road may be fraught with as much potential for emotional distress. This is his fourth scheduled session, and has been told that an advanced specialist will be brought in this week to evaluate him.

(The 1001 blogger enters his psychiatrist’s office and has a seat. No one else is in the room. He notices the chair where his psychologist usually sits has an odd looking metal device on it. He gets up and studies it and recognizes that it resembles the baby monitor his parents used to check up on him during his infancy. This link to his past causes him to smile. He returns to his seat. As soon as he sits down, a voice comes from the monitor.)

Monitor: (In a Swedish accent) Hello. How are you?

1001 blogger: Oh my God. I know that voice from interview clips. You sound just like Ingmar Bergman! But it can’t be, can it?

Monitor: I neither affirm nor deny your claim. Just tell me about this week's movies. I have studied your case file.

1001 blogger: This is something else. A metal box from my childhood with the voice of Ingmar Bergman coming out of it. Wow! Anyway, you asked about the movies. Not exactly uplifting fair, I must say. Cries and Whispers. I have to admit I didn’t totally get it. I think it has to do with the whispers we speak softly should be said loudly and our cries often go unheard as if they were whispers.

Monitor: I don’t think that’s it.

1001 blogger: Yes, that doesn’t sound quite right now that I say it aloud. But a question that arises from the movie is can we experience perfection and be grateful for the life which gives us so much or is it all just a monumental tissue of lies?

Monitor: Good question.

1001 blogger: What’s the answer.

Monitor: I’ll let you figure it out.

1001 blogger: Thanks. Big help you are. And seeing poor Harriet Andersson suffer such a prolonged, wretched death. That was painful to watch.

Monitor: If that makes you feel bad, move on to your next movie.

1001 blogger: That would be The Silence. In that one we get to watch Ingrid Thulin suffer a prolonged, wretched death. Jesus, what is wrong with you, sir? There’s more to life than seeing someone writhe in agony!

Monitor: Sorry, you should never watch Cries and Whispers and The Silence back to back. There’s a container of Zoloft over on the doctor’s desk. I think you might need it.

(The 1001 blogger walks over and swallows four Zoloft capsules and washes them down with the contents of a flask that he pulls out of his shirt pocket before returning back to his seat)

1001 blogger: Thanks. The last film from my inventory was Fanny and Alexander. I felt like crying. Don’t know if it was because of the beauty of images of the film or if I realized it was really his cinematic farewell or if I was just sad to be finished with the Bergman movies on my list.

Monitor: You are too kind.

1001 blogger: (After a few seconds of contemplation) I know you won’t say whether you’re Bergman or not, but just in case I have a couple of questions for you.

Monitor: Go ahead.

1001 blogger: What the hell was Persona supposed to be about?

Monitor: There is much speculation there. If I were Mr. Bergman, and I’m not saying I am, I would say that I contributed to this speculation in the artistic creation of it. I wouldn’t dream of answering your question and ruining anyone’s hypothesis.

1001 blogger: I figured your answer would be something like that. One more question. What was the deal with casting David Carradine in The Serpent’s Egg?

Monitor: (Laughing) So shoot me. I admit to being a bit of a closet Kung Fu fan.

1001 blogger: Well, I’ve seen the entire major Bergman films now.

Monitor: How do you feel?

1001 blogger: Shaken. But I’ll persevere. I know you say you aren’t necessarily Bergman. But if you were, I’d just like to say… What is it I’d like to say? I guess, just…I just want to thank you…for everything.

(After getting no further response from the monitor, the 1001 blogger walks over to the monitor and hears nothing coming out of it but static. He turns it off. The camera begins to pan away from the 1001 blogger who becomes more and more distorted.)

FIN

SHAME (1968, SWEDEN), THE PASSION OF ANNA (1969, SWEDEN), SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE (1973, SWEDEN)

The 1001 blogger has decided to watch as many films as he can from one of his favorite filmmakers, Ingmar Bergman. He knows despite the potential positive aspects of such an adventure, this road may be fraught with just as much potential for emotional distress. This is his third scheduled session, and has been told that a specialist will be brought in this week to evaluate him.

(The 1001 blogger enters the office, but the specialist chosen to evaluate him this week has her back to him.)

1001 blogger: Hello, I’m here for my session.

(She turns around to shake his hand. After recognizing the doctor, he gasps.)

1001 blogger: What are you doing here? I was supposed to meet with a specialist today. What’s going on?

Blogger’s Wife: I’m your specialist. Why don’t you have a seat and we can get started.

1001 blogger: What the hell are you talking about? You’re my wife! You aren’t a psychologist!

Blogger’s Wife: I was going to surprise you. I got an online degree in psychology over the Internet. Only took six weeks and only cost me, or should I say cost you 500 dollars. You’re actually my first patient. Now if you’d be so kind to sit your butt down, we’ll begin.

(The 1001 blogger sits down and mops his brow with a handkerchief.)

1001 blogger: I’m trying to take all this in. Even if you have a degree, which sounds dubious to me, you can’t be my doctor. We’re married! It’s a conflict of interest.

Blogger’s Wife: (Sitting down) Don’t underestimate me. I can be totally professional. I’m your doctor for this session, not your wife.

1001 blogger: Professional? You’ve been a psychologist for all of five minutes. With a degree from K-Mart!

Bloggers’s Wife: I’ll ignore your barbs for the time being. I realize that’s just some kind of misplaced aggression talking. Besides, I’ll have you know that I’ve looked thoroughly into your case and have done my research. I’ve watched all your Bergman films, even Persona. I’m quite thorough, I tell you.

1001 blogger: So that’s why my DVD’s were always out of their cases. I thought I was imagining things.

Blogger’s Wife: Tell me how you’re feeling.

1001 blogger: Feeling? Like I keep getting spat upon and now I’m drowning in the spittle.

Blogger’s Wife: Interesting. (Begins writing on notepad while reading it aloud) Patient throwing himself pity party.

1001 blogger: What kind of thing is that to say? You aren’t supposed to insult me, ahem, doctor.

Blogger’s Wife: Sorry, tell me about the first movie.

1001 blogger: Very well. The first film was Shame. Very powerful. The disintegration of a couple during wartime. How we lose ourselves, both individually and collectively.

Blogger’s Wife: Do you feel you’re losing yourself in these ways?

1001 blogger: You see, that’s the problem with having my wife as my analyst. If I were to think of something that could be construed as critical to you, I might be hesitant to say so.

Blogger’s Wife: Don’t continue to insult me and my profession! I am strictly your doctor at this moment.

1001 blogger: Fine. Fine. You’re my doctor.

Blogger’s Wife: What about the next one?

1001 blogger: The next one. That would be The Passion of Anna. Even stranger. I didn’t like the fact it was in color, but that’s just a personal bias since I am use to black and white Bergman films. More disintegration of character, of the soul. Very bleak. Hard to fathom at times, yet pretty powerful.

Blogger’s Wife: Do you consider yourself passionate?

1001 blogger: Yes, I do.

(The Blogger’s Wife snickers as she jots down some notes.)

1001 blogger: I heard that! That’s very unprofessional of you to laugh at me!

Blogger’s Wife: I didn’t laugh. I just have the sniffles. Let’s just move on. Any more movies this week?

1001 blogger: Scenes From a Marriage. Very different than what I’ve been watching from Bergman. Enlightening, though it really shouldn’t be surprising that couples can be horrible to each other and still love each other or want to be divorced and still be together. Relationships are complex. It’s like the joke about the guy whose Uncle thinks he’s a chicken and won’t send him to a psychiatrist because he needs the eggs. Relationships are like that. We go through them because we need the eggs.

Blogger’s Wife: Did you make that up?

1001 blogger: (Realizing that his wife has never seen Annie Hall) Um, Yeah, I made that up.

Blogger’s Wife: Sounds kind of stupid.

1001 blogger: Hey! Is a doctor supposed to call their patient stupid?

Blogger’s Wife: (Whispering) Sorry, I’m new at this.

1001 blogger: So have you gained any insight into your patient, doctor?

Blogger’s Wife: Yes, yes. Very much. Oh, and I’ve noticed in watching these films, Bergman has a lot of beautiful women in them.

1001 blogger: Like Bibi Andersson, circa 1957.

Blogger’s Wife: Yes. Tell me, if you went back in a time machine to 1957, would you have sex with Bibi Andersson. Be honest.

1001 blogger: (thinking) Honestly…yes.

Blogger’s Wife: (surprised) Oh, really! What about Ingrid Thulin, 1961?

1001 blogger: Yes. Definitely, yes.

Blogger’s Wife: Harriet Andersson?

1001 blogger: Certainly.

Blogger’s Wife: Liv Ullman?

1001 blogger: Hell, yes!

(The blogger’s wife puts down her notepad and pulls out a Lucky Strike from a cigarette case that she has had concealed in her pocket. She lights it up and proceeds to take a long drag.)

1001 blogger: What are you doing? My wife doesn’t smoke!

Blogger’s Wife: (She blows smoke out of her nostrils which makes her resemble a mad bull) No, but your doctor does!

1001 blogger: What is this? You can’t really be jealous about a ridiculously hypothetical question…I thought we were beginning to make a breakthrough here!

Blogger’s Wife: No, I’m afraid you’re far sicker than I ever imagined. You need to come back next week, but I’m several weeks of study away from having the expertise to deal with a patient like you at this point. You’ll need someone more advanced.

1001 blogger: You mean someone with a degree they didn’t get from answering an ad off a book of matches?

Blogger’s Wife: Don’t get smart with me!

1001 blogger: Sorry. A practical question before I leave. What’s for dinner?

Blogger’s Wife: (Putting out her cigarette into her notepad) I don’t know. Maybe you can travel back to 1957 and Bibi Andersson can cook you dinner!

(The 1001 blogger thinks it is time to leave and the doctor offers no resistance. He knows he only has a few Bergman films left, and hopes next week’s specialist might be able to offer better guidance.)

To Be Continued

THE MAGICIAN (1958, SWEDEN), THE VIRGIN SPRING (1960, SWEDEN), HOUR OF THE WOLF (1968, SWEDEN)

The 1001 blogger has decided to watch as many films as he can from one of his favorite filmmakers, Ingmar Bergman. He knows despite the potential positive aspects of such an adventure, this road may be fraught with just as much potential for emotional distress. This is his second scheduled session with Dr. Berger, though a surprise is waiting for him as he enters Berger’s office.

(A tall man greets the 1001 blogger, sticking out his long, slender hand. The 1001 blogger hesitates, but shakes it.)

1001 blogger: Hello. Where is Dr. Berger?

Dr. Maxx: (Speaking in a very deep voice) First of all, my name is Dr. Maxx. I will be sitting in for Dr. Berger this week.

1001 blogger: Sitting in for Dr. Berger? I can’t just change analysts half way through my therapy! What happened to Dr. Berger?

Dr. Maxx: I do apologize for my colleague. He had the sudden urge to hop a plane to somewhere in Scandinavia. Uppsala, I believe. Something about a ritual dance he has to perform and something about participating in a chess match. That’s a long way to travel for a game if you asked me. Regardless, I have been updated on your progress and hope you feel like you can talk to me.

(The blogger reluctantly sits down. Dr. Maxx does likewise. Before the 1001 blogger responds, he stops to look deeper into Dr. Maxx’s expressive face)

1001 blogger: You know, you look just like him.

Dr. Maxx: Of whom do your refer?

1001 blogger: Max Von Sydow.

Dr. Maxx: I see. And tell me the movies you saw this week.

1001 blogger: The Magician, The Virgin Spring and Hour of the Wolf

Dr. Maxx: And would Max Von Sydow be in any of these films?

1001 blogger: Not just any. He’s in all of them.

(Dr. Maxx writes something on his notepad.)

1001 blogger: What are you saying? What did you write down?

Dr. Maxx: Sorry, that’s confidential. Tell me about The Magician.

1001 blogger: I first saw it years ago. Really liked it. Still like it, but wouldn’t put it in my favorites. There’s a bit too much of Bergman trying to shoot back at his critics. It did have a lot to say about how things aren’t always what they seem.

Dr. Maxx: And how did it make you feel?

1001 blogger: Not bad. Felt pretty good, actually. Make sure you write that down in your notepad. (The 1001 blogger notices the notepad that was in Dr. Maxx’s hand a moment ago is now on the desk on the opposite side of the room.)

1001 blogger: How did you do that? You were writing in your notebook and now it’s over on that desk and you didn’t move from your seat and….(The 1001 blogger looks at Dr. Maxx and his mind flashes from Jesus Christ in The Greatest Story Ever Told to the old priest in The Exorcist. He begins to feel woozy and starts to keel over. Dr. Maxx seemingly apparates next to him with a glass of water, which the blogger drinks.)

Dr. Maxx: (Steadying the 1001 blogger) I think you need to keep up your strength. Feel better now? If so, I think we should continue. (Dr. Maxx walks over to his desk to get the notepad before returning to his chair.) Please go on.

1001 blogger: (breathing normally again) I watched The Virgin Spring next. I’ve seen that one before, too.

Dr. Maxx: And?

1001 blogger: I liked it very much. I don’t think it’s Bergman’s favorite of his own films from what I’ve heard. And the Cahiers du Cinema crowd didn’t care for it either. But what do those Francophonies know anyway? I liked the whole pull of the secular vs. the saintly or the old mythologies vs. the coming of the new ones. These are things that tug on me as well. What do you think?

Dr. Maxx: Interesting. (He jots down more on his notepad for a full minute.)

1001 blogger: Are you going to share some of these observations you’re writing down with me?

Dr. Maxx: Not right now. Tell me about the next film.

1001 blogger: (Taking a deep breath) I didn’t know anything about Hour of the Wolf before I saw it. I didn’t understand all of it. I’m not sure anyone does. But, the dream sequence, if it was a dream, I’ll be thinking about this in my own dreams for weeks to come. And what did the boy he kills represent? And just who were those people in the castle? Was his wife seeing them, too? Was everything just a projection of Bergman’s reality? Was Bergman trying to tell the viewer this by starting the film with the sounds of the set being built? Answer me Dr. Maxx! Answer, me!

Dr. Maxx: Interesting. (He writes more down on his notepad but offers no more explanation much to the dismay of the 1001 blogger.) One more thing, do you want to talk about the movie Persona yet?

(The 1001 blogger just shakes his head and slumps back in his seat.)

Dr. Maxx: Very well. You should come back next week, but I think you need more of a specialist. She is an expert in cases of your type. (He rips off a piece of his notebook paper and gives it to the 1001 blogger. It reads simply: Same time, next week.)

1001 blogger: (Looking down at the piece of paper.) A specialist? For my case type? What about Dr. Berger? (Looking up) Dr. Maxx?… Dr. Maxx?
(Dr. Maxx has vanished seemingly into thin air. Shaken, the 1001 blogger grips the paper the doctor has given to him, pulls himself out of his chair and heads out the door, clearly worse off than when he entered.)

To Be Continued

SAWDUST AND TINSEL (1953, SWEDEN), SMILES OF A SUMMER NIGHT (1955, SWEDEN), WILD STRAWBERRIES (1957, SWEDEN)

The 1001 blogger has decided to watch as many films as he can from one of his favorite filmmakers, Ingmar Bergman. He knows despite the potential positive aspects of such an adventure, this road may be fraught with just as much potential for emotional distress. He has made an appointment with his analyst Dr. Berger, who bears a striking resemblance to actor Judd Hirsch, to guide him through the rocky patches.

(The 1001 Blogger enters Dr. Berger’s office)

Dr. Berger: Good afternoon. I’m surprised to see you back so soon. We seemed to make so much progress during our last session.

(The 1001 Blogger fills the empty chair in front of Dr. Berger.)

1001 blogger: Thank you. I admit your prescription of making me watch Paul Blart: Mall Cop was tough medicine, but it definitely seemed to do the trick.

Dr. Berger: Good. So what’s troubling you today?

1001 blogger: Well, I’ve decided to watch as many Ingmar Bergman films as I can. I’m looking forward to it, but am wondering how I’m going to hold up emotionally.

Dr. Berger: Ah, Bergman! He’s a great one for my business. So have you started your Bergmanpalooza yet?

1001 blogger: As a matter of fact I have.

Dr. Berger: Continue.

1001 blogger: I started off with Smiles of a Summer Night. Such a delightful film, but not typical of the master.

Dr. Berger: How do you mean?

1001 blogger: There’s a lot of relationship conflict. Different couples seem to be with the wrong people, but it all seems to work out by the closing credits. Everybody ends up where they should be in the universe.

Dr. Berger: Doesn’t sound like the Bergman films I’ve seen.

1001 blogger: You’re right. But it made me feel good. Made me want to get in a rowboat and paddle to the middle of the lake with my best girl and-

Dr. Berger: And throw her in and drown her?

1001 blogger: I was going to say play my ukulele and sing Yes, We Have No Bananas.

Dr. Berger: Sorry. Like I said I’m used to more downers when it comes to Bergman.

1001 blogger: Me, too. I watched Persona last month. I’m not ready to talk about that one yet.

Dr. Berger: I understand. Ok, you watch your first movie. You’re in a good mood. You’re in one of those Salem cigarette ads playing a ukulele. What now?

1001 blogger: I put in Wild Strawberries next. I’ve seen it before. It’s been awhile. It’s about an old professor, medical doctor, going to receive an honorary award. How he relives his past, his mistakes. How he is a success in his professional life and not in his personal life.

Dr. Berger: How did it make you feel?

1001 blogger: The older you get, the more you do think about these things. The past seems so distant, except of course the mistakes you make. In those cases, thirty years can seem like yesterday.

Dr. Berger: You really should concentrate on the right decisions you made and not the wrong ones. For example, I wanted to be a police detective once, but I don’t dwell on it. I’m glad I went into the head shrinking business instead.

1001 blogger: A detective? You wouldn’t mean like a detective in a TV show? Like…Delvecchio?

Dr. Berger: I wasn’t thinking of television, but now that you mention it, Delvecchio was a great show. Definitely canceled prematurely. Anyway, back to you. Where did you feel you were at after Wild Strawberries?

1001 blogger: Ah, I was not in too bad a shape. But I did want something a little upbeat next to tell you the truth. So I watched a Bergman movie I hadn’t even heard of until recently.

Dr. Berger: Which was?

1001 blogger: It’s called Sawdust and Tinsel. All I knew about it was that it was an early Bergman film about the circus. Carnies, I guess might be the more appropriate term. Thought it might give me a break from the bleaker stuff.

Dr. Berger: Was it any good?

1001 blogger: I thought it was very good.

Dr. Berger: Upbeat?

1001 blogger: Hell, no! Being in the carnie is apparently no fun at all! The ringmaster wants out. His girlfriend is unhappy and constantly jealous. They get harassed all the time by the police and this theme of sexual humiliation. What an odd motif to run throughout a film. I feel like I should have watched the entire movie wearing a protective cup.

Dr. Berger: How do you feel about sexual humiliation?

1001 blogger: I’m pretty much against it.

Dr. Berger: Would you like to embellish?

1001 blogger: No. Why should I?

Dr. Berger: Just asking.

1001 blogger: Fine. Can we move on please?

Dr. Berger: Do you want to talk about Persona now?

1001 blogger: I do not.

Dr. Berger: So where are you at emotionally after your first Weekend at Bergie’s.

1001 blogger: Did you actually say Weekend at Bergie’s?

Dr. Berger: No, I said where are you at emotionally after your first few screenings of Ingmar Bergman films? You must be hearing things.

1001 blogger: Sorry, I’m a little on edge, but I’m hanging in there. What do you think I should do? Should I go forward?

Dr. Berger: I don’t think you should stop now. Don’t be a chicken. Keep watching and come back next week.

1001 blogger: All right. I’m not afraid. Funny, I thought you were going to try to get me to watch Independence Day again.

Dr. Berger: I wasn’t. But it might not be a bad idea to fit it in if you have the time.

1001 blogger: Maybe later. I’ve got to stick with the Bergman plan for now.

Dr. Berger: Suit yourself. You know I really do love that Seventh Seal movie. Why don’t we stand up and hold hands and do the dance of death right now to end our session?

1001 blogger: Because it’s a death dance and would make me feel depressed.

Dr. Berger: Come on!

(Berger leaps up and grabs a white sheet that for some reason has been neatly folded on his desk. He throws it over his head and pulls the 1001 blogger’s out of his chair. The doctor leads him in the dance of death out the door. The 1001 blogger decides to continue with his Bergman films, but is starting to question the wisdom of continuing to see Dr. Berger.)

To be continued